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Be the Change

As a child, we are told what to do because we are inexperienced and need protection. We are guided by our parents, family members, teachers and other adults in our community to make good choices. Sometimes even those who are telling us what to do or guiding us, make bad decisions. But their intentions are always good. Over the years, we hope to learn to be a good person and friend, making good choices and to not base them on our emotions.

Now that we are grown and have put all that we have learned into practice, we continue to learn by trial and error. We learn from both the good and bad decisions we have made. We then take that new found knowledge and apply the principle to our life to hopefully be successful in an old relationship or a completely new one. It’s a cycle really. We just need to choose whether we want to continue to grow fruitfully or remain stagnant in our old selfish ways.

One may say that they don’t want any friends because of the drama it will cause in their life. The other could say, I’m not changing who I am until they do! Others may sit on the side lines and not agree with others working on mending broken relationships by talking behind their backs and dooming their shot at happiness.

In my experience, friends help shape our being. They add sunshine to our lives; laughter to our days; life to our years and much love to our family. Drama is a part of life; after all, we are all playing our part. By not wanting to be a friend, you rob yourself of the joys that the Lord has given us. We are called to have relationships…it’s all we can take with us, when we go home to Heaven.

Choosing not to change can be detrimental to one’s self. As humans, it is natural to change. Change is good. We are not called to sit around and wait for others to change, but to be the change that could be the catalyst for someone to believe they too can change. You may ask yourself; do I want to be this way forever? Is there something I need to change? Am I spiteful? Vindictive? Unloving? Or am I loving, caring, considerate and giving to others? We all have areas we need to improve on.

It is weakness that keeps us from making the necessary changes while pointing it out in others. It is such great strength and courage to recognize our weakness and make the necessary changes…don’t just talk about it, do it.

For those who sit on the sidelines, people watching, judging and thinking negatively about those who are making the changes and applying the hard lessons they have learned in their lives to mend old relationships and make new ones…take a hard long look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Do I truly want to be alone forever? Do I want to be known as the devil’s advocate, or do I want to be known as the one who is loving, caring, encouraging and forgiving? Do I want to also be forgiven by those I may have done wrong?” Life doesn’t change for those who sit by and do nothing.

Stop condemning those who want to do better for themselves and start taking inventory in your own life. Rid yourself of the bitterness that resides within you and replace it with compassion.

As an adult, you are responsible for yourself. We are privileged to make the decisions who we want/allow to be in our lives or not. Our relationships are to be separate from one another, free from snide remarks and gossip about other relationships.

Matthew 7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? KJV

Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? NIV

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. KJV

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