There are many times that I find myself out of commission on my couch, thinking of and having a lil' bit of envy creep in...knowing that most of my friends and family are free to enjoy life. How they can run, play ball or simply just wrestle with their children. And hearing my husband and children talking, saying how they wish this or wish that, but because mom is hurting...it's definitely heartbreaking!
My favorite season is approaching fast. I am so far behind on all the plans and time frames I had made for this upcoming holiday season.
Isn't it funny how the words: I, me & my can take on a selfish root. A root that stays focused on one thing, itself. Growing, maintaining and feeding it.
Did you also notice, I said "can" take root.
It's no secret I've been dealing with the problems of my physical body, especially since the injury in March. But my weight...that's been all my life.
This sinful world has a way of captivating and brainwashing us. The world has a "perfect" size woman in mind. It has the "soccer" mom on a pedestal. And the husband is dumbed down and unsocially acceptable.
But the reality of it all is the "perfect" size woman, is that she's fake, wears too much make-up and her only focus is maintaining that image because otherwise this world will abandon her. That soccer mom (or whatever sport is taking hold of your life), she keeps herself so busy with the things of this world. She's juggling sports with all three kids, she's classroom mom, Girl Scout Den Leader and more...until she fills up every piece of those white squares on her calendar. An empty space, means there's room for more. Which leaves her run down, easily irritated and has nothing left to give to her husband or The Lord. The husband who's been dumbed down by today's television, society automatically thinks that the wife is the head, she wears the pants in the relationship and most likely the whole family. Too often women belittle and degrade their husband publicly. Usually for selfish gain or pity. If we are consistently disrespecting and throwing darts at the very men who need to be upheld in our homes, how on earth can you expect him to even want to love and cherish you as his wife? A man who loses the respect he deserves from his wife is no better than a wounded one on the battle field. For you have brought the battle field (battle field of the mind...living in sin for this world or rising above, in peace, taking the narrow path while walking upright with Our Lord Jesus Christ) right into your own homes, with open arms. Build him up, uphold him in prayer and watch how the man you fell in love with graces you with the love God has given him.
Oooh this (above) is such a good visual :) love it!!
A girl who envies others enjoying life because she's physically unable to do what she used to, also finds herself in the battle field.The moment she takes her eyes off The Lord, little bits and pieces of this fleshly world is able to creep in...only if you allow it. Since I now know the "root" of my physical handicaps, God has given me Hope, wherein the direction He would have me go during this time. But first! I must remove myself from the battle field and never look back. For some this may be easy, for people like myself, who are very sensitive and genuinely love others because it brings you joy...it's truly one of the hardest things in life..to let go and not look back. But at the same time, if you don't listen and you continue this path, it will cripple you. Which will ultimately have a ripple effect on your family. I am also having to learn to pray and forgive myself. Learning to accept me for all of me. The way I am, the way I look. And the weight I struggle with.
Today, I place all my trust in God. And begin this new journey out of the battle field. It's gonna be hard. It's gonna take time. And it is no doubt gonna hurt along the way. But my heart knows that He who is in me, is Greater than he who is in this world. I will have victory over this!
This afternoon I started to put that faith and trust in God into action. I started a new project. I was able to sand the piece of wood down and give it an old aged stain and look to it. That which was normally not exhausting, was. But steps 1 & 2 are complete for day one.
It's ok that I'm tired.
It's ok that I may not be able to do much more today.
God gave me a beautiful family filled with trials and temptations...but boy let me reassure you, this family is tough, this family loves with every bit of its being, this family stands tall and steps in when called upon, this family upholds the ways of Christ. And at the end of the day, all that matters is how I've taken a step closer to Christ, side by side with my eternal family.
Where there is pain and gossip, be an encouragement.
Stand up for what is right.
Don't allow yourself to take your Christian Glasses off!
And, for you same as well as your loved ones, leave the battle field behind and step into the field of Grace, God's Grace.
(Please forgive any misspellings or unnecessary words in this entry. As it was typed and submitted through my iPhone. Thank you.)

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