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Doormat Days Are Over

For far too long there has been and continues to be people in my life that say they love and respect me. But their definition of love and respect does not match the definition in which I carry and believe in my heart.
When I love someone, I choose to overlook imperfections, which allows me to love them perfectly.  This means that I don't have conditions they have to abide by or measure up to.  It simply means, I love you, for who you are, right where you are.
This also means that I do not "expect" anything in return.  I give, share and offer encouragement because it is my hearts passion.  You experiencing joy, encouragement and love is a far greater gift than anything anyone can get in return.
There are many "unspoken" words and actions that convey respect.  Respect comes in many forms.  Being honest with one another, even when it may hurt someone's feelings; accepting the differences, (instead of having such a critical spirit) the uniqueness God so graciously gave each one of us; listening more often than speaking and taking one another's feelings to heart.  The list can go on and on.
So when I say I love you, I don't say it flippantly or without a genuine heart.  In fact it's the complete opposite.  
When I say I love you, my soul has given me all liberty to do so, just for who you are, right where you are.  When I say I love you, you can know that I will always be the very best listener, one that will sometimes just listen, respond honestly and genuinely and sometimes embarrass myself to make you laugh or even share your tears.  You will know I have the utmost respect for you, not because I say I respect you, but because my actions will show you.
There is a saying that goes something like this: sometimes we expect more from others because we would go to great lengths for them.
While there is much truth in that statement...any time we place an expectation on someone or something, we are really only setting ourselves up for failure.
But there are those people in your life that you may share DNA with and even friends, that let us down the most.
At some point in our mature adult life, we should be able to convey heartfelt honest feelings with one another without going stircrazy and causing the high school cheer leaders to huddle and stir up their wrath.
I have dozens of examples I can share but I will use one that happened recently.
Keep in mind that people who hold on to a critical spirit can harm and eventually ruin relationships.
This morning I had a conversation with a woman.  She immediately grew negative and critical of who she got as her secret sister.  Well, I must say that God works in mighty ways!!  What a better way to have two ladies who have critical spirits serving one another secretly over the next few months!  There is much to gain there!!  And with the right heart, she will grow even closer to Christ along the way.
I recently had a lunch date and I truly struggled through the whole date.
Personally I hear such negative things being said of others and deal with critical people regularly, so I cannot stress enough in how much positive energy is debited from me and how little is deposited.  These individuals believe that you should be like them, listen to them, do as they say (they completely disregard what you say and aren't listening to you, but are waiting to speak) After dealing with this for far too many years and voicing your thoughts and feelings, and these individuals still believe they are perfect and do no wrong, you eventually begin contemplating whether you will spend any time with them again.
So over lunch, I have made my decision on what I wanted to order and was questioned for a few minutes because she had it in her head that I should get what she thought I should get.  There were several convos at the table that day and every time I was asked something, NO one even listened long enough for me to complete my response...they interrupted me every single time and talked over me.
That expression, "I'm in a crowded room, screaming and no one can here me"...yeah, story of my life.
I am treated this way on a regular basis, by numerous people.  At one point, I honestly thought I am the crazy stupid one.  Turns out, I'm the one who has morals, values and much much respect and love for others but...I never loved myself enough to stand up to these individuals who take me for granted and disrespect me and it doesn't even phase them! 
My spirit is crushed.  I'm hurting while they have fun living their lives.
Negativity...seeing it, hearing it, being on the receiving end...if you have many critical people in your life, you know first hand the detriment it can have on you.  Rarely being heard, you begin to believe your life doesn't have much or any value at all.
I may not expect anything in return...but the days of me being disrespected and having been walked on as if I were a doormat, are over.
God created me for a purpose, one in which deserves just as much love and respect as the next person.

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